i look at recently posted albums on facebook and i see all the aquaintances i've seen in the halls, in my classes. the ones i hear talking all the time, the loud ones who always have friends no matter where they are but nowhere in their constant gossiping do i hear word about where or when these pictures were taken. a curious feeling when i see them all together, a network of "cool?" kids. and they think they're so cool. underaged drinking in your basement while your parents are out of town , taking pictues of your wasted faces, posting them on facebook because apparently being illegal means being popular. yes i know i shouldn't be talking about illegal, but i dont post pictures of me and my friends where everyone can see them. i at least have a little shred of dignity left.
I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...
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