Skip to main content

YOLO!

I feel a transformation has taken place.

I've spent the past two weeks as a new person. I went on a glorious vacation to the west coast with my soul mate, and had ten days of wonderful adventure. Though it was far from problem-free,  I hardly cared. We took my grandparents' '91 Winnebago, at it was a bet of a piece. The pipe to the muffler broke on the first day, and so every time we accelerated, people would stare in wonder at this crazy loud beast ripping down the street. As well, there were three switches that needed to be on in order for her to start, which caused us some stress in Victoria when she wouldn't start. we had gotten her towed only to realize one of the switches was turned off!
But regardless of getting rear ended, getting stuck in the mud at a remote cabin and having the alternator die on our way home, it was still a great trip. We handled each adversity that came our way with cool grace, never getting stressed, and always looking at the positives.
I feel like the trip has turned me into a new person. Someone who is level headed, self-sufficient and positive. It has made me feel less stressed and more happy with the world around me. Being subjected to all the beautiful sights and sounds of the west coast has soothed my savage breast and brought me to a peaceful place.
Spending my 21st birthday in a secluded inlet on the sunshine coast in a homey little cabin with my lover was the best thing I could have ever asked for. It all seems like a dream, a beautiful and glorious dream, but the best part is that it was real. It was real, and because of my planning and our ability to roll with the punches, it was the best vacation I've had.
And the feeling of bliss has endured, continued into my regular day to day life. Coming back, I feel like the relationship with my mother has been rejuvenated and repaired. I've been more open, less hostile, and it has really done wonders for us. I've made the effort to talk more, to tell her more about my life, and help her out as much as I can. I understand that she's in a stressful situation with her parents and incapacitated brother, and I try to be as little abrasive as possible, and instead try to lubricate the day to day problems so they move forward with the least effort.
I feel like this summer will be a good one, it started off with an amazing trip, and I will carry those experiences forward and use them to lighten my days from here on out.
Happy happy :)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...
2 comments
Read more

zip.

I dread human contact. I absolutely hate it. I hate having to think of something to say, hate having to feign interest and sympathy. It's a stressful situation and I don't even know why. I guess it's the culmination of all my antisocial tendencies over the years. Once you get into a habit it gets harder and harder to change as time goes by. I've always been the shy one, the quiet one. The exception is my friends. I'm talkative and at ease with the people I like. I love my friends and I love having friends, but I dread making them. It's like it's too much effort to be worth it. All the awkward getting to know eachothers and stuff, I'd rather just avoid it completely. But it's getting me into trouble. People think I'm arrogant, too good to talk to them. Or that I hate them. Such is the case with my mother. She's been living at her parent's house, and so I rarely see her. That suited me fine, because less interactions the better. So whenever...
2 comments
Read more

Home

I looked back at blog entries, and even though the subject matter was less than pleasant to be reminded of, it was still good, I'm glad I have written reminders so I have points of reference to gauge my growth. And I've come far. I often feel like I've had three stages in my life. The first was with Brent, and though I was a newborn in love's eyes, I soon grew to an extremely old age. My heart was always cracked and my spirit became dulled. I became clogged with darkness, became tired and dragged myself through the days. But I never stopped. I stubbornly sacrificed myself each day for someone whom I thought it was going to help. I was wrong. The first day of my second stage was the day I stopped caring about him and finally focused on myself. I was free, and I was drunk with it. Too drunk. I dove into something that made me happy, too quick. I soon realized there were other ways to get hurt. this stage wasn't that defining, though I began to learn to take things as ...
2 comments
Read more