She's a rainbow

Been feeling a spectrum of emotions lately.

Love in the age of Covid.

So isolated, yet undergoing an evolution.

An expansion of my heart,
No longer contained by these four chambers.

For the past five years I have been trying to untangle my heartstrings.
Make sense of these feelings, what would make my heart happy
I've learned a lot, after only knowing monogamous hetero wasn't for me.

I've played and pranced through the forest of my desires,
Emerged with a taste for the thrill of the chase,
And for soft mossy moments.
 I explored my multifaceted heart and body.

I've embraced the fluidity of my sexual identity for a while now,
And I was lucky to have a partner who was open
And willing to embrace another woman into our partnership.

My heart's unfolding like a flower
Desiring the attentive admiration of others.

I am blooming, expanding at an exponential rate.

I am fluid. I change day to day, month to month,
As I process my past, my trauma,
My uncertainty began to wane,
And my connection to myself  has deepened immensely.

I am finally allowing myself to be honest, apologetically, genuinely myself.

And it's been hard.

Seemingly suddenly expanding past the boundaries of my relationships.
I have outgrown my surroundings,
Threw myself into the river of life
Flowing on this current.

I'm not sure where I'll end up,
But
I'm learning to trust the flow.