(just like) starting over

my heart was pounding and my mind was reeling.
all flashing by in a blur.
i kept thinking about what had happened
and what might.
i couldn't think strait.
suddenly it all stopped.
the only thing i cared about what right now.
right there. him and me.
the way he felt in my arms
his skin against mine
the way he looked at me
with his hair wild and eyes so full of emotion.
he told me i was beautiful.
he told me he loved me
it made me cry. but not like before
these were tears of realization
of elation; bliss.
i held him tight and whispered
"i love you too.."
and there wasn't a doubt in my mind.

and in the end nothing happened,
yet everything had changed.

Comments

pihzaz said…

This is beautiful...so real man.
im glad

i wish I got to see you today

December 21, 2008 at 11:37 PM

enter the struggler

Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night

rude awakenings

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