rude awakenings

Listening to the speedway words, a thousand amazing metaphors spewing forth at a speed faster than my own formulations, attempting to find inspiration in your recitations but all I find is frustration because your creations are more than I could ever create. And though your rhythm is stuck in my mind, it's too small, too confined, the words get backed up, I've got too slow of a flow rate. You seem so in tune with everything that's wrong with this world, and turning every emotion into a slew of words more beautiful than anything you can mass produce, you break loose from the abuse of this modern society, with no variety, Britney spears on MTV, singing if you seek Amy ...while thousands suffer in Haiti, as we wander blindly, the city's heart beats unkindly beneath the gold plated streets, the vileness hidden behind thin sheets, hiding the intolerance and the moral defeats behind a veil, so frail, but well crafted in every detail. And this blindfold, wrapped neatly, indisc...

Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? This question has been asked so many times, by poets and cynics alike. Often there will be two groups with very different opinions which are based on their past experiences. For someone disillusioned by the subject of love, it is more than likely that they’ve had unfavourable experiences influencing their opinion. Broken hearts are quick to judge, hesitant to continue on that path of love because of a bump in the road. But in pulling off to the side and cutting their trip short they’ve put a premature end to all the things they could have experienced. We as people grow from the situations we are placed in based on our reactions to said situations. When placed into the circumstance of love, if we risk the broken hearts we have the opportunity to grow so much more than if we take the safe way out. The cynics who’ve been hurt and broken by love’s throes would disagree. They are perfectly content, living in peaceful obliv...

mhmm. So happy. Don't my eyes say it all?

We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. This quote blew my mind, and just stirred up all the muck that is modern society from the bottom of the clear pool that is this world. 9-5, in out in out, clocking in, zoning out. working endless dead end jobs to scrape by with the measly slips of paper they (and who are they , anyways?) give us in return for being the hamsters in the wheel, the rowers in a slave ship making their slow progression to nowhere. I am so disillusioned with our society. It may be in part by my disappointment in myself at my stupid mistakes made in university. Life just seems so difficult at times, and I feel stuck in an uncomfortable limbo, knowing I've made a mistake but having to wait a month to right it. I'm so hard on myself. I always challenge myself, probably because if I fail I still know I succeeded more than other people I know. But I've set my self up for surmisable failure. I'm putting the pressure of so much weight onto my shoul...

it's a battle of two noises. Each one moving up in scale to be seen above the other trying to drown the other out. until they're both s loud as they can go and no one has won. All that's left is aching eardrums, no more room for thoughts no where to run to find that silence. I dreamt we were all going to die. And I was the only one who knew. I was so afraid, in the beginning, but near the end I'd come to grips with it. There's freedom in acceptance. I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I'm in one of those moods.

you’re somethin special babe. Lets run in reckless abandon to somewhere. Make the snow melt and bring the sunshine back. Bring warmth back into my bones. Do you know what I’m afraid of? Of placing too much faith in you. Of forgetting what makes me happy without regards to you. Of giving you my heart and feeling odd and empty again. I always fall too hard, to fast. But I can’t shake the feeling that this is something different. A Fresh of breath air

You make time disappear. Making the hours fall and the seconds evaporate. Disintegrating these chains, this trepidation is crumbling, leaving in its path lucid calmness. Your skin shines nakedly liquid bliss in your eyes and heat beneath fingertips. You've taken my inhibitions off the shelf tore out the pages and burned them with your smile and I am ripped clean, washed in the smoke that makes everything clear washed in the pool of your love. Shedding the grime of the past, soothing the wounds of yesterday anointed with your touch. We mix perfectly in acquiescent currents green and golden coming together I'm caught in the oscillating whirlpool beneath your veins entangled with your every move Lovely and beautifully. when I am with you I never want to leave. I could live on the sustanance of your laugh I found and island in your eyes country in your arms. where I could live athousand years

This shirt sums up my new year's resolution; to have a perfect balance. :P

I'm in an awful mood. School is depressing me, I'm only 8 days in All I want is to see your smile again.

I hate how I want you, long for you to be near, when you're with me I'm excstatic but I hurt when you're not here. you're like a drug; I'm addicted, you alter my mind. not illegal, but still of the deadliest kind. This is old. But if fits with the drug theme of the song I'd tried to write. He was a different drug. He was my heroine, my cocaine. You're some new type of drug. like chocolate, or music. He was caffeine and you are matcha. Such a subtle relaxed high, with no withdrawal. There's no track marked love on my arms, only a flush in my cheeks and a smile on my lips.

But in Love we disappear. I can't finish that song. The rhythm isn't right. I have no structure anymore. This is where sea and sky meet. In a holy joining of ended worlds. I am the water. Able to take the shape of any mould I choose, Having no real shape but only that which my surroundings provide. I can live everywhere. Invisibly in heat, harshly in winter, but beautifully in the middle. Wonderfully when I can stretch out, lying between earth and air, in indescribable quantities. There is so much going on beneath these layers but often it is unseen; hidden beneath a rippled surface, dazzled by cut fire of the sun, moved by running air. I move effortlessly, I am staying still in one place yet I am everywhere in my path, the future and the past. Beautiful in my delicacy when I am calm, beautiful in my fierceness in the wake of a sudden storm.

Write one leaf about holding hands. (via writeoneleaf) Your hand, calluced guitar-string worn fingers -so warm and safe- finds mine, -so small and soft and timid- so easily. The way your fingers lace within mine, how your thumb strums the back of my hand as though I was your instrument singing a simple song of happiness in absent minded thought. One day we’ll find the lyrics

I was always in search for some silly recognition. digging deep to their inner crevices hoping I'd be discovered as "amazing" So I could see myself as beautiful only if they thought so too. It was a complicated web of vicious circles Leaving me nauseated and disoriented but the habit had formed, running tracks in my mind. Yet suddenly the wheel has stopped spinning. And in wake of my new calmness, the mud has settled and there's a new world to discover. Take my hand and come with me? I am simple when I'm with you. And my waters are still. I've been pulled from shore to shore by the tides of infatuation and emptiness, my toes barely grazing the sands of safety. never allowing myself to be rooted in one place, for fear of upheaval in the end. But now I find myself on the warm beaches, I've been washed up on an island lazing with my feet planted in the white sand I've found myself with a new and wondrous world to explore Take my hand and walk with me?

You have the music at your fingertips and I have the words on my tongue. Let's make something beautiful.

We are always searching for the moments that leave us speechless. Those times when words escape us and in their place is only raw emotion. Your eyes speak with more words that language holds. And I should revel in those feelings, in their rawest forms, and embrace the silence. But this is where I'm always hoping to find the words. Universal sentiments are not made real with phrases but the other way round. My tired sentences search for new light. And when I put the lyrics to this soundtrack, capturing this energy, my words are revived and revitalised for they are filled with you With that look in your eyes. We exist in perfect balance. No longer afraid of the incongruity of the past. Your eyes mirror my mind. No longer living an effigy, this is the real thing. What makes me act is not an obligation Not selfish and not obscured by my insecurities. My head is no longer controlling my movements I am pulled forward with a naked desire to be with you. Simply and beautifully. My heart at...

The new year is littered with silly words strait from the part of my brain you've squarely targeted. You're in my blood like holy wine. Making me stumbly and silly. Under your influence. I apologize. This is what I tend to do when I have nothing else to occupy myself with.

you fill my pores with an incomprehensible feeling. This is too quick isn't it.. It's the shivers of a new feeling slipping into the comfort of your smile. I've been afraid of eyes all along they'd look at me with emotions I couldn't mirror back. I hid from them feeling invisible If I looked away feeling safe. the searchlights in their pupils boring into the emptiness in mine. I squirmed like a frog on a disection table crawled away from it all feeling like a stranger in a strange land. But your eyes allure me. beckoning with some strange magic. But it did not feel magical. It felt real. And I felt undressed with your eyes not violated, remaining fully clothed, you peeled off the layers of false securities. A pureness, amazement, oh I wish I could write better It's nothing too incredible. I said I wouldn't do this. And here I go . "..I'm sure that one day true love will come my way and i can put all this cynicism behind. But if that day comes you wo...

New year. another mile in this endless road of time, mindlessly winding. The promise of a 'new start' is fashioned from disillusioned hearts. Feeble minds need the push of fresh beginnings. I never made any resolutions, no losing those last 5 pounds, no eating better, nothing. Yet something has been handed to me an a silver fucking platter. uncannily, easily, perfectly. I'm still wrapping my head around it all. My best friend moved away, but in her place they left an amazing person [though no one can replace by p-tree] I'm going to learn from this. Take life in all it's love and glory and take nothing for granted. New people are everywhere waiting to change your life. You just gotta open your eyes. Open your mind. and that's my 'new year's resolution'

I had no reason to be over optimistic, but somehow in your smile I could brave bad weather How does this sort of thing happen? It's the sort of event that makes you believe in miracles. If I thought there was a God, that there was fate and all that lovely mush, I'd be inclined to think this has been set up divinely. But I don't, so it must all be serendipity, if you believe in that either. I don't know what I believe in, only that I want to believe in this. In you .

We hung out, had a few awkward silent moments cuz we're both really shy and shit, then we went our seperate ways. Mr vincent is pretty cool, but only a friend. Plus he was hot for my other friend, but everyone loves Petra. :P

The cut of your jawbone the scratch of stubble on my finger tips the wild look in that smile of yours genuine feeling. And how did this happen? Please don't let it end. You had a look of completion of an incomprehensible blissfulness and a thirst behind your gorgeous eyes You told me I was beautiful and somehow I believed you. Please let there be something to this. Something with enough substance to last in sobriety and not only in a drunken-new-years-daze.