so, what do you do when your boyfriend wants to buy you a rich present for your birthday? if he had a good job or was insanely rich, then no problem, but right now he's unemployed, plus he's a highschool drop out, meaning he doesnt make that much money. he needs to pay rent, needs to save for his family vacation and a digital camera. and yet he is hell bent on getting it for me. money doesnt buy happiness. and an obsenely expensive gift is not a way to show the love you have for me. and what's more, his birthday is coming up in less than a month, and personaly i dont want to spend a lot of money on his gift. i want to get him something he really needs or has really wanted. something that has a lot of thought behind it, so it will mean more to him. at the moment all i can think of is a j.h. pin (lamee i know) and this painting i did in art, that he really wants. like...i'm not a big fan of spending money. i'm cheap like my mother. but money shouldnt matter.
Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
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