Linked. Thats what i am. Linked, connected with her music. Her words, her experiences. Everything she wrote I have experienced. Everything I've gone through she's put to music. Its always the same, I don't go looking for songs to describe my feelings; they always find me. The most commonplace settings yeild yet another feeling of mine immortalized in song. a movie night showed me Both sides now, a K. D. Lang cd showed me Case of you. And the latest masterpeice brought to my attention through the cacophony of everyday life? Sometimes I'm happy. a simple song, a song i could have written. But Joni wrote it first.its discouraging and encouraging at the same time.To have all your inner words put out on paper and to music for you makes you feel like theres nothing left for you to do. But at the same time you realize your words have potential.
Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
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