what dreams are made of

he has told me on many occasions that i am something special, something unforseen and different. He says he cares me more than he has cared for anyone before. Never has he felt this way, completely new emotions fill him when i'm near. He calls it love. Not the childish deffinition of the word, not the love that is tossed around in convorsations. "haha aw i love you!" or "i love your hair, this song, this food". Not anything close. that deep love, that mix of pain and elation that holds me to him, that void in my soul that grows when he's not around. The feeling of complete bliss i am under when he's near. When he looks me in the eyes i am pulled in to that clear ocean blue. He looks at me and i am aware of his feelings for me. i am aware that i do mean the world to him. every girl wants to feel special, wants to be that girl unlike any other. I hiad given up on this, for the longest time i regarded myself as nothing special, nothing worth this magical sensation known as love. Suddenly it is upon me and i couldn't be happier. Every girl does believe they are something special and I must say it feels good to be proved right. Now i need to show him how special he is, i fear he is blind to it, hurt by years of unloved turmoil. But i am here, i love him so, the deep true meaning of the word, and i want everyone to see who i fell in love with and why. but most of all i want him to see for himself.

Comments

enter the struggler

Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...

rude awakenings

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