and all you can say is 'im srry'..

i can't trust anything it seems.
i can't place my faith in something ever-changing.
nothing stays fixed and i'm left to live day by day,
no promises made, no conclusions or resolutions.
...what's the point?

i guess i just expected more from you.

I'm stubborn as those garbage bags that time cannot decay

because i thought i was something special.
i figured you'd care about me. i thought i was your world.
i guess i've failed you then. as you've failed me back.
you failed to give me hope, confidence in myself.
if i didnt mean something to you how could i mean anything to anyone else?
it's impossible for me to believe in anything anymore
i wish i was something amazing, worth remembering or remorse..

But i'm as common as each blurry face that wander on their way

Comments

Anonymous said…

if i didnt mean something to you how could i mean anything to anyone else?

dude I know the feeling completely

November 18, 2008 at 7:50 AM

enter the struggler

Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night

rude awakenings

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