please.

three words; this is fucked.

tell all.

i dont know why certain things annoy me the way they do.

i hate myself but i need it off my chest.

why people's actions touch me like they do.

i guess it hurts when i know you hate him.

i silenty scorn myself

i guess..its ok; im angry with him too
for doing the things i do; but its part of who i am.

but that's because i know him the way i do.

and i can't turn away from who i am

you can't even begin to.

so i can just hope to understand why i do it.

nevermind. you can have your oppinions..i guess just dont share them with me..

thats all i can ask for.

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enter the struggler

Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night

rude awakenings

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