Skip to main content

mr smith

it keeps coming back to me in snippits. the first kiss. the first touch.
i almost hate myself for it. yet it felt so good getting what i want.
i was scared that my friends would hate me as other's have before.
it occured to me that they'd never seen me like this..
part of me didn't care.
i wasn't myself and i let it get the best of me.
but i can't shake the feling of accomplishment.
there's something strange about experiencing a person on that level.
its almost beautiful.. or maybe not
i've decided i'm perfectly alright being single.
i dated someone for over 6 months and what did it get me?
6 months of pain. sure, i felt love, but was it worth it?
i dont feel anything for him now.
it was just like he said that night
[the words are blurred by substances but i remember the backbone]
i still get the physical recognition
without giving out my heart to be inevitably broken.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

enter the struggler

Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
2 comments
Read more

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.
2 comments
Read more

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night
4 comments
Read more