We all have our own little instruments of apostasy; deffiance. Illusioned school days; fake sleepovers; sneaking out; sneaking in. To each his own but the back bone is the same. Our negation to authority, to reality. There's always that chance that this dangerous tight-rope walk could burn us.That allusion to destruction that keeps us tentative. The higher you fly the harder you fall. I learnt from my indescretion, it didn't result in contrition, but prudence. It's not in our nature to conform indefinitely.
Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
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