the kiss came as every other had. i held back for a fraction of a second but in the end i let my heart give in. i closed my eyes and let my lips slowly touch his. i could feel his emotions, could he feel mine too? i felt unsure and hesitant, but i felt his passion and his longing, so i kept on. the kiss grew, slowly slowly. my heart knew it was wrong, so did my head, yet i continued. finaly i had to pull away. i burried my face in his chest and willed myself to keep the promise i made myself. though i could feel the tears brimming i blinked them back. he pulled me away and looked at me. "you look like you've been crying, or that you're trying very hard not to" crap. i tried to stray away from the conclusions he was making. "how can you tell?" he brought a hand up to my cheek. "because i can feel a lot more tension right here.." he brushed his fingers along my cheekbone. "okay..?" i said. i hated it when he was right. he knew me too well for my own good. "am i right? or am i just thinking too highly of myself?" "no, you're right." i took a deep breath and looked away from him. after all this time i hated myself for feeling so shy around him. i had no reason to, and i knew he hated it when i didn't tell him what's wrong. "i told myself i wouldnt cry today..and i was doing so well, but then.." i took a nother deep breath to steady myself, and still averting my eyes, i continued on "that kiss.." i gathered the courage to see his response to my words. "you want to know something?" "k.." i looked at him expectantly. "that kiss..felt real." he must have noted the confusion in my eyes, and elaborated. "every time i've kissed you, it felt wrong. i didnt feel anything. but this kiss...was different." i mulled over his wordsin silence, but i couldnt see where he was coming from. i decided to let it pass. "do you want to know something?" "ok." it was his turn to look expectantly at me. "that kiss..went too far for me." i sat up straiter and scooted slightly farther away frim him, and just as i knew he would, he scooted right back beside me and reached out for my hand. " i don't know why i didn't stop..." i was talking moreso to myself now, it made it easier to get the words out. "i guess..i didn't stop because of you." i looked up at his confused face. "do you understand?" i asked, already knowing the answer. his no came as no suprise. " i guess...i thought this was what you wanted, so even though it went to far, i didn't want to stop.." he readjusted himself to look me strait in the eyes. "never do that."
You know me too well. you break these daily boundaries these walls i tried not to build you pave the way for happiness in other conciousnesess. I had a dream last night. It was beautiful. And all because of you
Comments