some one help me, i'm drowning. thoughts pool my mind and its getting hard to breathe. the room is twitching, creeping from the corners of my eyes. emotions are entangling with eachother, i've lost myself. i'm tied here by my own pretences. wondering waiting worrying. what's worth fighing, living for? everything that makes me happy is eating me up inside. i will be an empty shell of humanity. all the easier for you to fill me up with your own beliefs of what i should be. so many questions thrust upon me all of a sudden, i cant cope i can't focus. is it my glasses or is it me? i cant see. the floor is spinning. i feel sick with it's motion. my senses are dead from over-exposure. my touch is numb my voice is hollow. what's the point? is there even one?
Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
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