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dear Brent;

Everything happens for a reason...
You came into my life, my boring stupid life. You showed me pain and sadness, but you also showed me love, compassion and caring. You cared about me so much, and I cared about you too. I still care. I care more than you'll know, enough to forgive you for everything you've done. I can’t erase the bad times, but I can’t erase the good times either. No matter how mad I was, when I thought back all I remembered were the good times. And I realized you made my life amazing. And I think I did the same for you. I feel blessed to be a part of your life. I felt like… I somehow helped you, in some obscure way, maybe just by showing you that people care, that this world isn’t all bad. You may think its bad, because you've managed to hurt everyone who's cared for you, but look at me. I’m still here. You’ve made me strong. I’ve learnt a lot about myself in these past six months. You’ve made me realize how good of a person I am. You’ve made me realize how strong I am, and so much more. You touched my life and no matter what happens I will never forget about you. How could I? You were my first love. And what a love it was. Everyone was proud of me, seven months is quite impressive, everyone agrees. I want to think that I’ve made you like yourself more, but I have no way of knowing. I want to think that I’ve given you even a little shred of confidence, that if someone "as amazing as me" will go out with "a hairy ape like you" then maybe there's something you don’t see. I see it, my friends see it. And you know it. I’m getting off topic, I apologise. You’ve made me strong. And Petra told me Strength is not turning your back on them and never looking back. Strength is being able to look them every time you see them knowing what they did to you and still being able to love. I can’t turn my back on you, even if you tried. I will always be here for you, you know that. I care about you, we’ve established that, I know. But what I’m saying is that even though you’ve hurt me, I can’t leave you. I’m too nice of a person to just leave you. I’m being very egotistic in saying this, but if I’m the only person that cares, why leave me? Because you know you’ll hurt me again? You probably will, but that’s life. And if I get hurt, it’s not your fault. It would be mine, because I came back to you knowing the dangers. But I also want you to be happy, and this is where I completely go all contradictory on myself. I feel that I’m not good enough. There’s no reason for you to stay here, just for me. There’s no reason you have to put up with all this crap. You can move away, away from everyone that’s hurt you, and everyone you’ve hurt, and go start over. I have no doubt that you will find someone who cares about you, wherever you go. I am not trying to guilt trip you at all, I’m just expressing myself. Whatever you do will be right for you. If you’re happy I’m happy. And you deserve to be happy, whatever that means. I’ve never been good at ending letters, so I’ll just say remember that I love you.
Love,
Andrea Hunter

Comments

pihzaz said…
I love this man, it shows how much you've matured and how much you've learned from this relationship. What a great fucking life experience. and such a good first relationship to have. There will be plenty more even if you don't want to see that right now. That's just life whether we fucking like it or not. Remember im stuck on you like those bandaid brand bandaids. Those annoying commercials that are like OKAY FUCK I KNOW YOUR STICKY.

"im stuck on bandaid brand cause bandaid's stuck on me."
July 15, 2008 at 12:49 AM
rudeawakenings said…
you're my hero.
COME OVER RIGHT THIS INSTANT AND GIMME A HUG
July 15, 2008 at 12:49 PM
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