Skip to main content

lovely.

i dreamt about him again. im pretty sure ive dreamt of him every night since we broke up. last night he said he was back in school. we went to this weird choir dog show concert thing together and i melted in his arms, it felt so good to be there. i remember he kissed me once, just once, a soft brush of the lips but it sent electricity down my spine. somewhere inside me knew this was a dream but the bigger part of me didnt care.
i dont know what i'm trying to tell myself. i know that i miss him and still love him but there's nothing i can do. he's gone. and maybe thats why i'm dreaming of him. i'm not an expert and my vocabulary is being frustratingly small today so i cant elaborate.
all i know is i need another psychiatrist meeting. man its like my drug. it feels so good to open up to someone who knows exactly what to say. i dont even care that its her job to do this, because i sense that she really does care about me. or that i have to pay 100$ per session, because my dad's work covers it.

Comments

pihzaz said…
Im alwasy here for you bb please never forget that

Popular posts from this blog

mother

i don't know what it is but i cant stand you anymore. maybe because I've been with you for 6 weeks straight. then i got two weeks of freedom, glorious freedom, and it's hard to come back to living in this house, with you, with whom i now associate all the wonderful memories of arguments that you could never bare to lose, the days spent waiting at each corner for you as you lagged behind inconsiderately taking pictures. my friend told me last night, in alcohol fuelled praise, that you were real. that she had incredible respect for you. and i just couldn't agree. you're real only in the sense that you let us know exactly what is on your mind without bothering if it upsets us. but you don't take the time to listen to me, to consider my opinions, because everything anyone else thinks is completely illogical and a waste of time. you can't grasp that you're views aren't one size fits all. they don't work for everyone; especially not me. You can't...

Sweet Nothings

You know me too well. you break these daily boundaries these walls i tried not to build you pave the way for happiness in other conciousnesess. I had a dream last night. It was beautiful. And all because of you

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...