you told me...the only way you would completely leave my life was if i told you "get the fuck out of my life." and even then you'd call me up in a month to see how i was doing. i'm holding you to that. i know you're upset, why shouldnt you be? in the past few days i have gone from hating you to forgiving you to hating you to forgiving you again. i felt confused and sorry for myself. my friends kept telling me i was strong, and i didnt believe it. i said i took you back, that i caved. petra told me Strength is not turning your back on them and never looking back. Strength is being able to look them every time you see them knowing what they did to you and still being able to love. and that made up my mind for me. i knew that if you left my life completely i wouldnt be very happy, i would always be wondering how you were doing, if you were ok. i'd start to worry. i still care about you. and you know that. and despite all that has happened, i still care. i care enough to still be here for you. there is little chace i will get back together with you. not because i dont love but because i dont trust. but the future is wide open.
You know me too well. you break these daily boundaries these walls i tried not to build you pave the way for happiness in other conciousnesess. I had a dream last night. It was beautiful. And all because of you
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