i dreamt about him again. im pretty sure ive dreamt of him every night since we broke up. last night he said he was back in school. we went to this weird choir dog show concert thing together and i melted in his arms, it felt so good to be there. i remember he kissed me once, just once, a soft brush of the lips but it sent electricity down my spine. somewhere inside me knew this was a dream but the bigger part of me didnt care.
i dont know what i'm trying to tell myself. i know that i miss him and still love him but there's nothing i can do. he's gone. and maybe thats why i'm dreaming of him. i'm not an expert and my vocabulary is being frustratingly small today so i cant elaborate.
all i know is i need another psychiatrist meeting. man its like my drug. it feels so good to open up to someone who knows exactly what to say. i dont even care that its her job to do this, because i sense that she really does care about me. or that i have to pay 100$ per session, because my dad's work covers it.
i dont know what i'm trying to tell myself. i know that i miss him and still love him but there's nothing i can do. he's gone. and maybe thats why i'm dreaming of him. i'm not an expert and my vocabulary is being frustratingly small today so i cant elaborate.
all i know is i need another psychiatrist meeting. man its like my drug. it feels so good to open up to someone who knows exactly what to say. i dont even care that its her job to do this, because i sense that she really does care about me. or that i have to pay 100$ per session, because my dad's work covers it.
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