Skip to main content

boy oh boy, Roy


my father just got off the phone with his sister. it didnt take long for me to realize something was wrong. i could hear it in his voice, the way he tries to keep his emotions under control, fighting back tears. "well its a good thing we went and visited them when we did" he started, feigning a casual tone. "why?" my sister asked. "because my father just had a stroke."
it hasnt hit me yet, though it should have. i dont know why it doesnt bother me. maybe because i have the insane hope that he'll make it? the chances are slim. he's over ninety, weighs less than my sister, and he's been slowly declining for the past year. maybe thats why, because i had come to terms with it earlier? i knew it was an inevitable fact of life? what bolluscks. i know it will hit me soon, maybe when my dad brings it up at dinner, which, i need to eat right now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...
2 comments
Read more

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.
2 comments
Read more

Iwill be dragged through the slime and the mud

And I mean..I fucking love you. And I promise you it's gonna be okay. It always has and always will. Your heart is so warm and love so pure . There's so many perceptions of so many people Each with a different view, a different insight. I don't know if I can listen to anyone anymore. No one knows the raw core emotions that i keep well-guarded And I don't want anyone to know. I'm beginning to hate myself, hate the monster I feel growing. Please...someone make me believe I'm not damned for all time? Good-bye yellow brick road.
Post a Comment
Read more