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stepbrothers

oh i hate this feeling. its a million in one. i feel...annoyed, mad, and that this whole thing is so unfair. but then i feel like i deserve it, because i havent given them reason to trust me. then i fill with frustration at the fact that i did nothing wrong tonight, how ironic! then i get annoyed at how my parents should realise i've broken up with him, i'm not seeing him anymore. i'm not sneaing around or anything. but then i realise how would they know? im so reclusive from them, but i really dont care. i feel like they ask too much of me, and ask too much in general. i cant explain it. i hate feeling this way because it was such a small thing, but it brings up such a larger issue with myself. i really wish i oculd just resolve all my problems. like...i dont know. i'm sick of everything. new deal. i'm gonna try and not lie to my parents. maybe like for a month or something. but...i know that its not worth it because i beat myself up about it later, i live in fear that they'll sniff me out, and they usualy do. it really hurts me and it hurts them and it hurts us and im just so sick of everything. im on the mood to rant but im to annoyed to speak.

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