Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
i can't remember the last time i felt this peaceful. i spent who knows how long learning Harrisburg on the guitar, the chords sounding so beautiful together. i sang along, not caring who could hear me. i was so in love with this song. i took a break and put on a cd, listening to the original version. my father told me to open my window. just as i did, the rain began to fall, adding background mellody to the music. i turned of my lamp and lay on my bed with my eyes closed, just lying there. no harrassing thoughts that sent ripples of worry or uneasiness through my body. no regret, no sorrow. just me, music, and the rain.
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