i appologize for this rant.

its really annoying. she spends all day on the computer buying endless expensive trinkets, and when i go on for a few minutes while she's out for a smoke break to upload pictures, she get mad because i'm on the computer all the time. then she goes off about how my dad cant get us to do anything and stuff only gets done if she's the one who asks us. well then why doesnt she ask us? she is a parent, its part of the job. unless she thinks she's exempt from responsibilities because she does so much other stuff. it kills me, what does she do lately? dont get me wrong she was amazing back when we were younger. she had everything organized. and ya i guess she can blame it on her depression, but still. she plays in her garden and buys shit on ebay. she thinks its so great and its so annoying when she's on the computer and we're all working in the kitchen and she keeps narrating the bidding like we give a damn which we so dont. i keep wondering when she'll stop. she does it in excess and doesnt realize it. she gets mad at me when i kept putting pictures on deviantart. and i told her strait up that she goes overboard, and it just bounced off her. she doesnt realize whats wrong about this. she cant just keep getting mad at all of us because suddenly we need to be able to read her mind and know what needs to be done. it doesnt work that way and maybe its a fault on your parenting style. you babied us and suddenly found out it was wrong and decided to gove us all this responsibility. ahhh

Comments

enter the struggler

Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night

rude awakenings

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