green light across the bay

i feel i am waiting, for something ungraspable. i feel my heart speaks to me in dreams but my head cannot comprehend it's messages.
and in my mood i turn to someone who explains it for me. Joni.

I am on a lonely road and I am travelling travelling. Looking for something, what can it be? Oh I hate you some, I hate you some..I love you some. Oh I love you when I forget about me. I want to be strong I want to laugh along. I want to belong to the living. Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive, I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive.
I am on a lonely road and I am traveling...Looking for the key to set me free. Oh the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling, Its the unraveling, And it undoes all the joy that could be. I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun, I want to be the one that you want to see

Comments

enter the struggler

Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night

rude awakenings

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