i'm sick of being a teenager. this is supposed to be the most carefree years of my life, full of halfbaked plans, spontinanity and just doing shit for fun. but here i am making huge deals out of everything. great, i'm wise beyond my years, i'm mature and strong. well what if i dont want to be? i'm a teen, i'm supposed to be stupid, immature and indulgent. theres no fun in being this great model of a mind if it doesnt fit. but there's nothing i can do about it so i'm just gonna wait until my body catches up with my mind.
Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
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