rude awakenings

"In truth, though, we are losing soil worldwide at an alarming rate. A recent U.N. report warned that Earth could run out of topsoil in the next 60 years if we, as a global society, continue to support its  destruction by way of petro-chemical, ecologically abusive agricultural practices. Fortunately, soil can be incredibly resilient and regenerative." Here is some food for thought, A great article that highlights how we need to move forward in a regenerative, soil building fashion. If we keep going the way we are, we will be royally screwed. The system is skewed, off-kilter and ill-advised. One of my passions going forward is educating about urban low impact farming, victory gardens, and reclaiming our sovereignty away from a society that is showing it's cracks.

The Star. Illuminating Celestial magic transmuted                             Collected and nurtured in her urns                In her hollow bodies           Giving shape and form To the flow of the world The rushing of time Oon-wards Halted      in a vessel Held      Meditated upon                Made magic. And then Returned           Released Relinquished back to the banks To seep in with the current And be carried Further Deeper The Earth Drinks it back down                And around                         And around. Add caption

Been feeling a spectrum of emotions lately. Love in the age of Covid. So isolated, yet undergoing an evolution. An expansion of my heart, No longer contained by these four chambers. For the past five years I have been trying to untangle my heartstrings. Make sense of these feelings, what would make my heart happy I've learned a lot, after only knowing monogamous hetero wasn't for me. I've played and pranced through the forest of my desires, Emerged with a taste for the thrill of the chase, And for soft mossy moments.  I explored my multifaceted heart and body. I've embraced the fluidity of my sexual identity for a while now, And I was lucky to have a partner who was open And willing to embrace another woman into our partnership. My heart's unfolding like a flower Desiring the attentive admiration of others. I am blooming, expanding at an exponential rate. I am fluid. I change day to day, month to month, As I process my past, my trauma, My uncertainty began to wane,

I don't know what drew me back here after years and years . I think it's the allure of anonymity but also broadcast. It's different than my journal, where I'm more candid and carefree,an allure afforded by complete privacy. But I remembered this blog where in high school and Uni I would write my feelings, my day, my point of view in poetic ways, and with photos. I had a very small audience mostly consisting of my best friends who also had blogs. It was a place I could perform something personal, using poetics as a method of sharing yet remaining secretive. I have another blog I use more, it's an ecological one, but  I miss the feeling of speaking my emotions out into the void of the internet. So maybe I'll start it up again, just for me, and whomever happens to stumble upon this.

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough

I am filled with the feeling of too much to do, but when given the time all I can accomplish is looking back at these blog entries with a detached sensibility. I am removed from them now. Peculiar, how these words remain fixed here, memories I would rather forget. But I am now wet with memories, soaked in ancient feelings I thought had shriveled away in the sun. One thing struck me was my way with words. It has always been a talent, but I exercised it more in adolescence. Now the muscle is weak and the words are hard to lift from my mind to this page in any way worth telling. I need to stop telling myself that.  Evolution is inevitable and I have been changed by this passing of time. I am fascinated with progress, with the slow steady growth of each individual. Sophistication, intelligence, ever shifting dreams and schemes. But there is always an essence that remains unchanged. The spirit which guides us to who we want to become through time and space. I am happy now. I've always b