rude awakenings

rant: commencing. oh how i wish you could read minds. so i dont have to bother you with my problems, you could just know they existed and be the knight in shining armor. but i don't want to bring you down to my level. dont want to tell you what's bothering me because i feel like i'm just complaining, and im afraid it bores you. that's my biggest fear. is that my problems are so frequent they become a burden instead of an opportunity to heal. i just really need you. i remember when we first started dating i told you i never wanted to need you, but i need to be wanted. i need you to want to help. and i know you do. but there's always that fear. that unloading myself upon you will bury you and you'll be helpless, pinned like a butterfly and having to watch as i struggle on my own, because sometimes you're clueless. but that's fine. you try to and you've been getting better, but i am a complex woman. a fragile woman who is built out of sand and comes cra

http://bl00dysunday.livejournal.com/ he (?) has some crazy things to say. puts me in a weird mood. like i'm awakening to something that's always been in front of my eyes. he states the blunt in a hopelessly misanthropic manner, but there's a hard edged truth to it all, held against my neck with the intention to cut. his words sound like cigarette smoke and fill my ears with cottony apprehension.