city of poets

so yea, pretty damn stoked for this tonight. it's going to be quite an experience. first time being a featured artist, it's gonna rule!



I've come to realize the sun is in love with you.
she is ever lingering at the corners of the sky
never wanting to see you devoured by darkness
she keeps an eye on you
and your eyes are always filled with her light.

to me, you are the sun.
illuminating everything with your radiance
helping me to see the beauty
and I've come to realize you're in love with me
Always lingering in the corners of my sky
never letting me live in darkness.



Ive been really clumsy lately. breaking class, then cutting myself with it trying to clean up. knocking things over, dropping things, slipping. it's really frustrating. i think it comes with stress. like there's a problem syncing my mind and my body and it's resulting in miscommunications to my fingers and lots of broken things. I was always that kid who'd spill her glass of water at the restaurant. the hopeless case at times. it's frustrating. because the more it happens the worse i feel, the worse i feel the more it happens.
I'm in a funk. things affect me so much, and I've been overloaded with food for thought lately. the drummer of the KGB has waning interest, and I really don't want to see them compromised, the KGB is such a good band, and it means so much to Scott, and by association, me.
and of course, Kaeleigh is now the mother of a healthy baby girl, Aurora. It wont hit me until I meet her, and that most likely wont be for quite a while. Everything is happening all around me, and I'm sitting still, surrounded by it all. I feel like such a bum right now. Sweats and a flannel plaid shirt, slumped on my bed in my dirty room with my laptop. When I start to feel sorry for myself, then it starts to get bad. I can't do that to myself, but it's so god damned alluring.
I need to do something artistic. I need to write a poem, paint a picture, play music, or dance my heart out. I have so many options for artistic voice but i haven't really committed to anything. Art projects bloom in my mind and rarely every make it to the physical world. I have the beginnings of a painting sitting on my floor that's been doing just that, sitting, for weeks. I've written two good poems lately, but cant write anything new that I can bring into my poetry class and work on proffesionally. I got a piano book for christmas and havent opened it since.
ugh. ok, computer, you hopeless little screen, time to get turned off so i can do something productive, and get my hands dirty with paint.

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me