29.1.12

Mother II

The only good thing coming of this never ending situation is that there's always material for poetry.

I don’t remember the last time you did something nice for me. Can’t you see why I’m upset? I guess I just get this way after too many days of no thank yous. I wish you’d put yourself in my shoes, so you can see what you’re doing to us. I don’t like to fuss because I’ve learned it won’t make things better, but then the feelings fester within me. I can’t see a solution. No resolution is possible; you’re always so hostile when I speak my mind. I guess I can never find the right words to explain this pain that seeps from my chest. The best I can do is write poetry, for me only, because I don’t have the balls to show this to you. I know what it will do; it will send you into a depression.

You’re so full of aggression; you have a tongue like a whip and no filter for your lips. You spit insults without thinking; I think it’s linked to your drinking. You sink to new lows, dishing out blows because weakening us makes you seem stronger. I can’t stand this much longer. In arguments, you’re the first one to shout, but you can’t take what you dish out. If I say something harsh you blow up, storm off in a huff. I’ve had enough. It’s time the queen was thrown from her throne. You have shown me no compassion but fashion your life around asking it from me. You live ridiculously, gone too long with no one to keep you in check. You forget that you need give and take to make a family last. But you ask so much of us, and give nothing in return; you’ve turned this house into a monarchy.
And I think we’re due for a mutiny

23.1.12

It was an odd experience. Obviously enhanced by the illicit drugs in my system, but there was no mistaking the power of the experience. The pull of the tears were fierce, piercing me, pulling me down with a frown, it was frightening, felt alone and helpless, griping, fighting, trying.
…...............
I saw the warm light dancing on the right side of your face; I tried to chase the pain away. Push it, but I was weak. I tried to teach you how to heal me. Feel me, hold me fold your arms around me. And you astound me. With your everlasting light, you gave me sight in darkness. I saw you helped my cloud get lifted; I am gifted with your warm embrace. I touched the right side of your face, traced the skin from your temple to your chin.
I shed the walls and let you in.

8.1.12

open your fucking eyes

It's people like you that make the world a lesser place. You pollute the pallet with your selfish habits but your self-esteemless self portrayal. You believe your happiness more important than a million other species, yet you think your actions invisible in the grand scheme. You think can keep running water and loving oil, and nothing will happen. Or you know what will happen but you're unwilling to give up the smallest of insignificant luxuries; to change your habits just the slightest. You think it's ok to keep doing what we have always done. Why cant you see? Why can't you open your fucking eyes to the state the world is in. It's not a hoax made up by peace loving tree hugging granolas. There are statistics. There is tangible proof; forests are being torn down to make room for our endless appetite for meat. Cities are growing wider, catering to the exponential multiplication of humans. The biodiversity is steadily decreasing because we keep monopolizing huge areas of land for our own monetary gain. 90% of all large fish populations have disappeared from our oceans from over fishing. One hundred and fifty species go extinct every day due to human activity. One hundred fucking fifty. We are responsible for destroying countless works of evolutionary art, crafted over billions of years, that will never exist ever again. We are spewing out chemicals and pollutants into the atmosphere; the co2 levels are higher than they've ever been. We are wasteful, cutting down more and more trees when recycling paper saves 60% of the water cost for manufacturing new paper and 100% of materials. We are wasteful and we consume blindly, thoughtlessly, just because we can. We could stop it, but not enough people care.
I just wish people were aware of these facts. Then maybe the real world and our impacts would feel a little more real, rather than a distant inconvenience, separated from us and our plushy homes, indoor heating and two car garages. Maybe then people would feel guilt when over induging instead of seeing us hippies as a nuisance, a fly that wont buzz off and leave them free to live in content consuming ignorance. Maybe we could change the world for the better, steer it in a good direction.