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Showing posts from April, 2011

self pity rant, dont mind it.

ive concluded that my body hates me. after realizing I'm newly lactose intolerant and cant eat the slightest bit of dairy without my intestines wringing themselves into knots and keeping me up all night, i find out i have a UTI. it took a week to get the medication for it, and after i take it, it fucks up my kidneys, a rare side effect. Not wanting to feel the pain of a sore back and tender internal organs again, i hesitate to take the second dose. But my parents demanded that I do, so here I am again, unable to stand without feeling pain all through my back. and on top of all of it, i'm getting sick, because the antibiotics are destroying my immune system. wooooo.
Less than a week of school left. Motivation is dwindling in the face of a program change, and the irrelevance of all my current credentials. Though i should keep up my gpa, maybe get a scholarship. I could do with the Jason lang. But I feel good lately. Though it’s unfortunate I’ve wasted two years and over five thousand dollars, I feel unchained with the revelation that I have the freedom to do whatever I want. I need school to be interesting, tailored to what I really want to learn. And I plan to find that perfect degree that will teach me everything I want to know. Environmental science is looking great right now, because it’s only a 3 year degree and I get to work and get paid the last two semesters, getting my foot into the door of the earth’s job sector. I just hope I can work for something great. Something where I’m outdoors and I can surround myself with the simple beauty of nature while getting paid to protect it. You know what would be great? If I could become the next Da