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the truth is at ephemeral as your breath

its getting better all the time [can't get no worse]
la la la. streaming streams of consciousness no rearranging or editing just the raw first impressions, first words first ideas. who knows what will come out, who cares. they're just words, so easily forgotten or remembered, it all depends on whoever wants what. I don't want anything most of the time. everything can shape me, influence me change me. I let everything under my skin too deep and it seeps in and takes over. mottles the original, the prior. before. before never matters, only in a sense of relativity to chart a certain progress, or lack of. Sometimes nothing seems to be moving forward, or in any direction for that matter. Like I'm stuck in mud, trying so hard to run until my legs give out but they're dragging through tons and tons of substance, feelings, emotions, memories, fears and tribulations. these inhibitions a safety net, soft to fall back on, lest we try too hard to leave everything and end up only falling back into it all, so much harder than before. blood in the streets it's up to my ankles, mud in the streets it's up to my knees. shiver shiver shiver.

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i dont know where im going with this

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