rude awakenings

The only good thing coming of this never ending situation is that there's always material for poetry. I don’t remember the last time you did something nice for me. Can’t you see why I’m upset? I guess I just get this way after too many days of no thank yous. I wish you’d put yourself in my shoes, so you can see what you’re doing to us. I don’t like to fuss because I’ve learned it won’t make things better, but then the feelings fester within me. I can’t see a solution. No resolution is possible; you’re always so hostile when I speak my mind. I guess I can never find the right words to explain this pain that seeps from my chest. The best I can do is write poetry, for me only, because I don’t have the balls to show this to you. I know what it will do; it will send you into a depression. You’re so full of aggression; you have a tongue like a whip and no filter for your lips. You spit insults without thinking; I think it’s linked to your drinking. You sink to new lows, dishing out b...

It was an odd experience. Obviously enhanced by the illicit drugs in my system, but there was no mistaking the power of the experience. The pull of the tears were fierce, piercing me, pulling me down with a frown, it was frightening, felt alone and helpless, griping, fighting, trying. …............... I saw the warm light dancing on the right side of your face; I tried to chase the pain away. Push it, but I was weak. I tried to teach you how to heal me. Feel me, hold me fold your arms around me. And you astound me. With your everlasting light, you gave me sight in darkness. I saw you helped my cloud get lifted; I am gifted with your warm embrace. I touched the right side of your face, traced the skin from your temple to your chin. I shed the walls and let you in.

It's people like you that make the world a lesser place. You pollute the pallet with your selfish habits but your self-esteemless self portrayal. You believe your happiness more important than a million other species, yet you think your actions invisible in the grand scheme. You think can keep running water and loving oil, and nothing will happen. Or you know what will happen but you're unwilling to give up the smallest of insignificant luxuries; to change your habits just the slightest. You think it's ok to keep doing what we have always done. Why cant you see? Why can't you open your fucking eyes to the state the world is in. It's not a hoax made up by peace loving tree hugging granolas. There are statistics. There is tangible proof; forests are being torn down to make room for our endless appetite for meat. Cities are growing wider, catering to the exponential multiplication of humans. The biodiversity is steadily decreasing because we keep monopolizing huge are...

I see past these walls the city builds. Like a rat, standing on hind legs, peering over the maze. I am still a rat, but I have seen things that cannot be unseen. I know the world is full of wonders, past the maze of humanity that we've all gotten lost in. I know not what greets me at the exit, but I know it will be better than these mindless meanderings through this every-day drag-on. I am freed from these shackles with the key of a broader mind.

slippery slime slips, drips, sinking slinking and you're thinking you could be sick, but the thick slips down with a frown, but stays, plays, eyes wide, smiling. laughing. feeling good. good mood food. nibble giggle repeat. sip, skip and smile, for a little while. magic cactus, bitter citrus slips in cutting muck, slimy, stuck. sticking, licking lips, taking sips.

my room is a mess. my head is a mess. This holiday stress has left no room for sanity. It was go go go; preparations for today. Christmas. And every year I wonder why I bothered. it isn't the same as when I was a child. this day has lost all of it's magic. But the only magic there ever was, was from the plethora of presents I saw under the tree as a child. It was all about the presents, all about getting. Now, it's more about giving, but I want to give more than consumer goods. So this year I crocheted most gifts; put time and effort in, instead of money. But the inner child still lives within, expecting more than I should. And every year I am disappointed. it's more than just the gifts, it's the unfulfilled Christmas spirit in this home. We are a dysfunctional family, and maybe I'm a terrible daughter, but at times I can't stand my family. I cant stand when my mother gets drunk and acts immature, when it's all about her. I can't stand the feigned f...

November 6th 2011 11:11 PM I wish that I’ll never have to come home to my father taking refuge in the cold garage in his black sweatpant and teeshirt after-work wear any more. I wish that for once things will be ok. That I wont need to recede into invisibility behind my closed bedroom door and pretend there isn’t a lion pacing its lair on the upstairs floor. I wish that I won’t need to cram my schedule full of extracurriculars so I can pretend this doesn’t exist and I am not a part of it. I wish I’d never be sad again. Never let the tears wield their terrible power over me. Never let them choke me and punch me in the gut until I can’t stand strait and I crumble. I wish I could be stronger; That I could be better with dealing with everything, and anything. I wish I could be simpler; Easier to understand, so that my partner could read me like a cook book. Find the right recipe to make me happy, and follow the simple steps. But I am Shakespeare to the high school drop-outs, I’m impossi...