Skip to main content

today i see

i looked in the mirror, and in the feeble light of a fall evening i saw myself as who i wanted to be. a girl who ruled her own life, defiant and strong. a girl not needing makeup or bronzer, who revvels in her pretty imperfections. sun kissed skin and wild natural waves in her hair. purple pants and stripped shirts that go beyond the borders of fitting in.
i stare to long at this girl i see and the illuion falters. my eyes water with the lack of blinking and my unfourtunate allergies to the new spring weather. i walk closer and i see my face is paler then i had first thought. my eyes are puffy and lined in red. i sigh, defeated and return to my book, where i can be lost in the heroin's strength and not have to be bothered by my lack thereof.

Comments

Anonymous said…
hey buddy that was beautiful and so are you, remember that. oddly enough the feeling of being not strong that's how i am feeling with my driving classes...random yes i know. i love you ♥

Popular posts from this blog

teardas

this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough