i look at recently posted albums on facebook and i see all the aquaintances i've seen in the halls, in my classes. the ones i hear talking all the time, the loud ones who always have friends no matter where they are but nowhere in their constant gossiping do i hear word about where or when these pictures were taken. a curious feeling when i see them all together, a network of "cool?" kids. and they think they're so cool. underaged drinking in your basement while your parents are out of town , taking pictues of your wasted faces, posting them on facebook because apparently being illegal means being popular. yes i know i shouldn't be talking about illegal, but i dont post pictures of me and my friends where everyone can see them. i at least have a little shred of dignity left.
this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe
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