Today wasn't by any standards a particularly great day. Early mornings and snow, parking tickets, missing an interview, car dying on a busy street, getting stood up by a mentor. It was overwhelming and I admit I shed some tears, in the moment. But at the moment I am ok, I am at peace with the way things are because even though the day wasn't amazing, there were still some good aspects. Like the nice girl who helped me push my car, offered to drive me home and gave me a hug when she saw I was distressed. Like getting a call from Bernard Callebaut offering me a job at the same moment I lost the chance to work at a pet store. It's all about the little things, the positives, because if you don't keep your head up you're more likely to crash.
this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe
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