Today wasn't by any standards a particularly great day. Early mornings and snow, parking tickets, missing an interview, car dying on a busy street, getting stood up by a mentor. It was overwhelming and I admit I shed some tears, in the moment. But at the moment I am ok, I am at peace with the way things are because even though the day wasn't amazing, there were still some good aspects. Like the nice girl who helped me push my car, offered to drive me home and gave me a hug when she saw I was distressed. Like getting a call from Bernard Callebaut offering me a job at the same moment I lost the chance to work at a pet store. It's all about the little things, the positives, because if you don't keep your head up you're more likely to crash.
I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...
Comments