20.3.13

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me.

So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough thing to master, but the faster you dance the better the chance of it. I Love it for it's exhilaration; the sensation of being scared yet not caring if people catch you in the act. I react with a laugh and a leap into the streets, heart pounding, astounded at my actions. Each dance is a step towards reclaiming the wonder of childhood that I've lost along my way. So I stay in my groove, knowing I'm moving closer to a better me. Someone who sees the world with fascination rather than aggravation. I need a confirmation that I am an awesome human, and this takes shape in my night grooves. One small skip for me, one giant sashay for the improvement of my brain.