i don't know what it is but i cant stand you anymore. maybe because I've been with you for 6 weeks straight. then i got two weeks of freedom, glorious freedom, and it's hard to come back to living in this house, with you, with whom i now associate all the wonderful memories of arguments that you could never bare to lose, the days spent waiting at each corner for you as you lagged behind inconsiderately taking pictures.
my friend told me last night, in alcohol fuelled praise, that you were real. that she had incredible respect for you. and i just couldn't agree. you're real only in the sense that you let us know exactly what is on your mind without bothering if it upsets us. but you don't take the time to listen to me, to consider my opinions, because everything anyone else thinks is completely illogical and a waste of time. you can't grasp that you're views aren't one size fits all. they don't work for everyone; especially not me. You can't...
love; such an odd term...i guess you know right away if you've fallen into it. but i'm still uncertain. i feel as if 'm just a silly girl, who doesn't know anything. that i'm calling this feeling by a completely wrong name. but i can't just ask someone what love is. it's something in all of us, maybe it's not the same from person to person. i feel so alone. i want to talk to him so much its almost unbearable. this scares me. i can live without him, i've done it for the past. i could have. but i changed my future. i'm not caring about what i could have done if i'd done other things. i'm dealing with the circumstances i've laid before me. this is so hard. i never really thought about it. i don't want to go through all that again. but..i just wish things were simpler. but i'll live with what i've got i guess..
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