love; such an odd term...i guess you know right away if you've fallen into it. but i'm still uncertain. i feel as if 'm just a silly girl, who doesn't know anything. that i'm calling this feeling by a completely wrong name. but i can't just ask someone what love is. it's something in all of us, maybe it's not the same from person to person. i feel so alone. i want to talk to him so much its almost unbearable. this scares me. i can live without him, i've done it for the past. i could have. but i changed my future. i'm not caring about what i could have done if i'd done other things. i'm dealing with the circumstances i've laid before me. this is so hard. i never really thought about it. i don't want to go through all that again. but..i just wish things were simpler. but i'll live with what i've got i guess..
this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe
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