The fact of being loved was difficult: almost intolerable. Being loved wasIf I had a nickle for everytime someone expressed confusion at my relationship with him. A goth and a hippy? Basic principles were being challenged here. But what no one saw was the uncanny similarities. Sure we were on opposite sides of the stylistic spectrum, but we both had a mutual dismay at being stuck in the senseless middle. We both lived in excess, me in color him in black. I've learnt countless things I would never had even fathomed, on his behalf, and I am confident it is true both ways. It is a sacred consumation, when two worlds can be stitched together on the mutual attraction of mystery. When two bipolar worlds join, a new, more complete one is born, and this is known as paradise. And I can see paradise by the dashboard light.
letting others feed from your resources- all you had of life was put in
jeopardy. Maybe you had to give yourself away.
this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe
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