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lost!


why do i do this?
im perfectly capable of moving foreward
out of this life into another
perfectly the same, minus the one difference.
the difference is the reason i can't
not for me, but for him.
i'm wrong in my justifications i'm sure.
so lets return to the question at hand.
why.
because.
because...do i feel that my choice was unjust?
do i have this subconcious need to make him happy?

i hate to see him in pain. its my fault.
it was his fault, at one point. i suppose.
i feel a need to hang on...i'm unsure as to why.
because he was a huge part of my life.
i have difficulties grasping the reasons from my mind
to write them out, sort them out.

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