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giant twitch

today i went to my friend's church. i thought it would be an interesting experience for me. maybe seeing their point of view would ease me into it. i don't know why i hold such a dislike for religion. though i dont have the knowledge to make informed opinions, but no one does anymore.
we just say what we feel. we don't take the time to put ourselves on the other side. i dont understand how each person can hold such different opinions and beliefs. we're all humans, we cant be that different, in theory. this just reinforces my beliefs that everything around us makes us who we are. everything influences us. my friend was brought up catholic and as a result she now believes in God. me on the other hand, wasn't, so i dont belive in It. i wonder what would happen if we were given complete unbiased surroundings, given complete choices. what would we chose? would we even become 'normal' humans? or would we chose not to decide?

my brain hurts.

me i believe that religion should only bring peace and comfort to a soul and nothing else. food for your soul, thats what spirituality. religion is for spirituality because your soul needs to be fed.
we have out body mind and spirit. they each have their own needs. most people replace their spirit with god or a surreal experience they cant explain, others replace itwith halucinagens that take us to the world we've never seen. but your spirit is something that needs more, its never satified, or full. its always thirsty. you try so hard to fill it up but all that matters is what you believe in your heart cuz once you look deep down whatevers there is whats real to you because u cant contradict yourself no matter how hard you try. you cant hide from yourself. if you try to you'll start to have mental breakdowns but once you figure out its so life changing, its reasurring to know that all you need is your mind and you'll be alive.

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