I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough
it hit me in one huge blow. he saw the look of horror on my face and then my tears turned into choking sobs as i buried my face in my hands. his arm was automatically around my shoulders in a futile attempt to comfort me. i couldn't believe it. how could this have happened? why did he do that? millions of questions ran through my head but i couldnt find the words to ask him. it all seemed like a joke or a dream. it just didnt fit. he kept repeating "its not your fault. this has nothing to do with you" and i tried to believe him. he knew me too well to know i would blame myself in some way. i tried not to but i was distracted. i was too much in shock to think of little else other than the image planted in my brain. it didn't fit, this couldnt be true.
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