i cried at school for hte first time

i'm so mentally tired. i could probably fall alseep right now
i just need a break but i cant have one
and now that all the tests and exams are over
i dont have anything to strive for
i have no motivation.
i have a chemistry lab write-up
and a calorimetry worksheet
and i need to practice drums
but i cant do much more that lay in bed
nd feel sorry for myself.
my head hurts and i'm catching a cold
two things i'm blaming on math
and my body's hate for me.

i hate grade twelve.

Comments

Anonymous said…

I hate that this is happening to you. You're strong buddy, you can make it, I know you can. Let's get you a punching bag? I think we could all benefit from that... ♥

October 2, 2008 at 7:19 PM

teardas

this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough

I wish I could

I'm a moon person too. But I'm too caught up in my petty securities and routines to wander the streets at night

rude awakenings

Search This Blog