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teardas

this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me.
his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he felt. i willed him to see us as we are. if he had he would have noticed the situation. we were sitting on the ocuch, i had my legs on his lap, he was crying and i was holding him close, rubbing his back and whispering in his ear. to me that doesnt sound like "get the fuck out of my life."
does it?

Comments

jEeRo said…
hEy
hope u'll be feelin better as days go by..
October 6, 2008 at 9:45 AM
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