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fucked

the adrenaline still running, flashes jumpy moments through my mind. i try and breathe, tell myself its ok, its all over, what's done is done. i would be perfectly unperturbed by my rebellion save for one person. i dont know why i let him get to me. i wanted to yell at him "you're not my fucking mother." "i dont think you even care about me, only yourself"
but i held my tongue. why? because i didnt want him to become more angry with me. i hold too much on other people's oppinions. i dont know why and i wish i didnt. i'm my own person and your opinnions touch only my outer shell. you cant change who i am deeper in. i'm still me and i will always be.
funny. i had thought about that earlier in the week, in a completely different light. maybe that's why it upsets me so. because he was someone i never thought would apply to it. to use his words, i thought you was better than that.

i jut cant get over the tone of his voice.
its the only thing keeping me from telling myself it was justa dream
thats what it feels like. it was a night to remember
but he just makes me want to forget.

Comments

Twisting by said…
DONT LET IT GET TO YOU. you had a fun night did nothing wrong and whatever. your young. .... i heard about last night lol...
i know what you did last summer!
November 10, 2008 at 12:03 AM
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