so here's the dealio...i've decided that if i get back with brent things need to change. i dont know if i'll be able to do it, but i really want to stop lying. like even if it's the little things, but i just hate how lying grows and grows.
urg my brain hurts though. i've had one long day. me and petra kinda planned for me to meet with brent, and i was ok with it, though i wasnt supposed to. i only did it was because in two weeks, his phone would be out of money, and i wouldnt be able to contact him even if i wanted. and if anyone knows me they know i need to be in the loop. i need to know what's going on, i need to know all i can because i hate guessing or wondering. but i told him that "if he loved me he'll wait for me" and he said he would because...he loves me? i was talking with petra and she told me i had become so mature throughout this whole relationship, and i think i see that now. he told me he was going to bc because "there is nothing for me here, my family hates me, the only reason i'm staying is because of you and emma." and yesterday i found out that emma is a bitch, something i've always suspected. she's in bc having a grand old time, doing things she's way too young for, because she's "misunderstood and rebelious." she's just looking for attention and trying to fit in any way she can, and personaly, she's doing a terrible job, but to each his own. i cant tell her off for that, thats not my business. what my business is is when she tells brent all she's doing and he's like...ok? and she tell him she doesnt really care about him when he tried to tell her what was up in his life. and i really hope that he finally sees that i am so much better than her. i told him strait up "thats the difference between us" and he's like "i know" so i couldnt resist. "you should have realized that before. i dont know why it took this to open your eyes" i appologise, but its fun making him squirm like this. i want him to sweat, realize that he fucked up and he's got some serious things to fix if he ever wants me back. and i feel bad because i know he'll do all i ask. he told me he was gonna come here and buy me chocolate, and i told him no, one because i dont want him spending his money, and two cuz i'm not allowed to see him, and i dont wanna lie anymore.
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