mkay, latest news in the life of andrea. i had a private psyciatrist meeting and i felt all special cuz she told me i made an impression on her, she's been tinking about me quite a bit, and ive only seen her once. and i dunno, apparently im a good person haha. and i have a problem about caring too much, and im ghonna be prone todepression and anxiety and all this stuff, so i told her all aobut brent and she told me that its really important i do whats right for me, and not for others, cuz i have a problem with sacrificing myself cuz i dont wanna upset other ppl and that would be the only reason i would be staying with brent is cuz id feel too bad, cuz im the only good thing in his life and the only person who cares. but i really need to start doing whats right for me. if i stay with him then im telling him its ok for him to treat me with disrespect. and if i leave him im telling him that when he gets something really special he needs to treat it justly, or else he'll lose it. and she believes everything happened for a reason. he came into my life for a reason, to show me like..the good and bad sides of people, and to show me strength and my potential and yada yada. then the phone thing happened for areason to give me a push on doing the right thing. damn this is gonna be hard. uummmm how would i go about breaking up with him? phone's good? i cant do it in person, thats for sure.
this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe
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