Skip to main content

Dr. Dana.

mkay, latest news in the life of andrea. i had a private psyciatrist meeting and i felt all special cuz she told me i made an impression on her, she's been tinking about me quite a bit, and ive only seen her once. and i dunno, apparently im a good person haha. and i have a problem about caring too much, and im ghonna be prone todepression and anxiety and all this stuff, so i told her all aobut brent and she told me that its really important i do whats right for me, and not for others, cuz i have a problem with sacrificing myself cuz i dont wanna upset other ppl and that would be the only reason i would be staying with brent is cuz id feel too bad, cuz im the only good thing in his life and the only person who cares. but i really need to start doing whats right for me. if i stay with him then im telling him its ok for him to treat me with disrespect. and if i leave him im telling him that when he gets something really special he needs to treat it justly, or else he'll lose it. and she believes everything happened for a reason. he came into my life for a reason, to show me like..the good and bad sides of people, and to show me strength and my potential and yada yada. then the phone thing happened for areason to give me a push on doing the right thing. damn this is gonna be hard. uummmm how would i go about breaking up with him? phone's good? i cant do it in person, thats for sure.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

neighborhood nights

I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...
2 comments
Read more

Home

I looked back at blog entries, and even though the subject matter was less than pleasant to be reminded of, it was still good, I'm glad I have written reminders so I have points of reference to gauge my growth. And I've come far. I often feel like I've had three stages in my life. The first was with Brent, and though I was a newborn in love's eyes, I soon grew to an extremely old age. My heart was always cracked and my spirit became dulled. I became clogged with darkness, became tired and dragged myself through the days. But I never stopped. I stubbornly sacrificed myself each day for someone whom I thought it was going to help. I was wrong. The first day of my second stage was the day I stopped caring about him and finally focused on myself. I was free, and I was drunk with it. Too drunk. I dove into something that made me happy, too quick. I soon realized there were other ways to get hurt. this stage wasn't that defining, though I began to learn to take things as ...
2 comments
Read more

i dont know where im going with this

no one ever needs anything. they only want. "i need to get atleast 75 on this test" no. you want it. because you want a good mark because you want your mark to go up..ect." you want it because you dont want the alternative. aka failing. you dont need to go to school. you probably should, you probably should want to, but you dont need to. lets get a more exagerated example "you need to take this medicine for your illness or else you'll die." you might think this is a flaw in my theory. but it isnt. you want to take the medicine because you dont want the alternative; death. but you dont need to take it. you never need to do anything.
2 comments
Read more