i had a sleepover at megan's yesterday. it was quite fun and i realized how much i missed just chilling with friends. i spent too much time with brent and i guess some of my friends fell off the wayside. i feel that, although this will kill me temporarily, this needs to be done. i just cant handle a boyfriend anymore. i mean i still love him with all my heart's capacity, and perhaps thats a bad thing. he's more moody then i am. like one moment he's all lovey dovey then i burst his bubble and he's all vicious all of a sudden. its just his way of actingwhen he feels threatened but i dont think he realizes how much it hurts me. m running out of things to say. i gotta go call my parents before they blow a gasket. peace.
this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe
Comments