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venom of a lionfish.

sometimes i catch myself dreaming of simpler times. perhaps it would spare me this insufferable pull on my heartstrings. but then i remember. i get bored easily, to put it simply. to go from this to carefree would be a smack to the face and i'd be completely lost with myself. i dont want to love someone exactly like me in every way. when i'm out and about and i see couples walking, i find myself laughing inwardly. they all look like they could be siblings, if i didnt know better. preps go out with preps, emos with emos, nerds with nerds, pretty people with pretty people. for some reason i think that i am the only person who has broken that trend. me and him are from completely different worlds. perhaps thats a bad thing, perhaps we're too different. but what is love without a bit of excitement? without a goal to get around? love shouldnt be easy peasy. "love is not a victory march, its a cold and its a broken halleluiah" Leonard Cohen is smart, and i have come to trust his words. his love has made me stronger, wiser, more mature. we've grown close to eachother, and i have come to care for him so much that i am willing to give him a second chance. because i have faith in him. i know that whether i like it or not he will change for me, to make this easier for me. for some reason i feel that whatever i chose to do, it will be the right choice. and that is a weird feelings

Comments

Anonymous said…
"love is not a victory march, its a cold and its a broken halleluiah"
that's from the song hallelujah by jeff buckley!!!! i love that song =) and reading your blog. you are strong and you will make the right decisions, actually there is never a right choice i believe only different ones.
July 17, 2008 at 11:37 AM
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