you said "more than all." your words sounded like a song. you said we'd last forever but forever's far too long. you put so much on my shoulders, you said 'i need you." i should have been touched but i knew your words were true. you speak from the heart, you mean what you say. the way that you said it scared me away. in addition to never saying never, i've learnt never to say always, or forever. i hate how i want you, long for you to be near, when you're with me i'm excstatic but i hurt when you're not here. you're like a drug; i'm addicted, you alter my mind. not illegal, but still of the deadliest kind
I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough ...
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