Don't give up. I'm only starting to see the gravity of your situation. the extent of your damnation. In short I don't blame you for your frivolous disposition. I blame myself for not being enough to change it. That came out wrong. I can't, nor do I want to, change you. I just wish I was insentive enough to make you wish to change. Or maybe change is non-existant. I want you to grow. You're playing a static and stagnant role whilst I am flourishing and thriving. I know I'm not the same as I was when we were first in love, but the change is amplified relative your inert stance. I've always cared about you, but that too has been altered by the hand of circumstance. I've known countless feelings for you, attachment, love, lust, caring, anguish, concern. I've always felt something for you. Now it's stronger than ever before. No more silly juvenile notions of "love". I care for you like a sister, a mother, a lover, a friend. You say you don...
i heard my sister playing guitar. i got excited and decided to join her. with the giddiness of an infant i started offering suggestions of what songs we could play together. i even brought up my guitar book. i had been looking for someone to play killing me softly with ever since i learnt it last week. it had two parts. i sat there playing around with the song, trying to convince her, but she eventualy said "you totaly interupted my jam session." in a mock over serious voice but i knew she didnt want me there. fine. i felt like an idiot at the fact that it upset me as much as it did. i take things to heart to often and i should just tell myself to stop but i cant. i'm just so emotional as of late.
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