i heard my sister playing guitar. i got excited and decided to join her. with the giddiness of an infant i started offering suggestions of what songs we could play together. i even brought up my guitar book. i had been looking for someone to play killing me softly with ever since i learnt it last week. it had two parts. i sat there playing around with the song, trying to convince her, but she eventualy said "you totaly interupted my jam session." in a mock over serious voice but i knew she didnt want me there. fine. i felt like an idiot at the fact that it upset me as much as it did. i take things to heart to often and i should just tell myself to stop but i cant. i'm just so emotional as of late.
this is the reason i broke up with him in the first place. because it was so much stress and it just seemed hopeless. i know that's a harsh word but its true. he's got so much on his plate and i dont want any more on mine. i have my own set of worries i need to take care of. but i cant just turn him away. the way he opened up to me...it litteraly moved me to tears. i feel his dispair, his depression. he has nothing. but i dont want him to have no one too. at the moment i feel thats all i can do; give him the comfort of knowing that i'm here for him, that he has me. contrairy to his beleifs he hasnt lost me. if he really had, i wouldnt have seen him yestrerday, or tuesday, or any times before that. we wouldnt have acted or talked the way we did if he'd truley lost me. his words stung because i felt his pain through them. his feelings soaking the words and turning them a different colour. i never told him to get the fuck out of my life, but it hurt to know thats how he fe
Comments