I feel like somewhere along my life there was a shift. Suddenly nothing was for fun any more, it was all necessary. Suddenly I'm bothering with what others think, afraid to link any connotations I deem negative to my being. Why do I care what people I've never met, who'll forget they ever saw me, think of me; this obscure stranger in their peripherals. It's a warped sense of mind and place, seeing the space around me in my mind's made up ways. So I stray away from everyone, isolating myself unwittingly, turning them against me. Self fulfilling prophecies, I succeed in creating this reality. I need to break free from my mind's mentalities, with which negativity has propelled me. So I've started a new sport. I call it neighborhood night dancing. Donning headphones and heading out alone to the empty streets as the city sleeps, and moving to the beat. Letting it compel me towards a freedom long gone missing. Letting go is an art. Complete release is a tough
i heard my sister playing guitar. i got excited and decided to join her. with the giddiness of an infant i started offering suggestions of what songs we could play together. i even brought up my guitar book. i had been looking for someone to play killing me softly with ever since i learnt it last week. it had two parts. i sat there playing around with the song, trying to convince her, but she eventualy said "you totaly interupted my jam session." in a mock over serious voice but i knew she didnt want me there. fine. i felt like an idiot at the fact that it upset me as much as it did. i take things to heart to often and i should just tell myself to stop but i cant. i'm just so emotional as of late.
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